1. Calls all kids he sees "dirty".
2. Thinks camp host is "loony" (might be right)
3.Bathroom beyond 200 paces=new found appreciation of nature.
4. Forced to unearth and assemble long ago purchased "Fold and Go" port a pottie for lovely bride. (See #3.) Complete with the "Double Doodie Bag."
5. Wants to acquire rights to above device and market as follows:
"There is No Commode Like the Lock and Load!"
6. Waxing nostalgic for Happy Hour at the Pirate's Cove.
7. Baked potatoes in the fire WITHOUT PIERCING!!!
TMI.
ReplyDeleteHey, good news, and this fits right in! I'm writing a screenplay about your trip to Florida! It's part of the Die Hard dynasty of action/adventure entertainment. I've got Bruce Willis attached to play Mark. He's working on a cockney accent-- I thought that would give Mark some zazz! I'm thinking about Lucy Liu to play Lucy. Not sure why, but she'll look awesome in the kick-boxing scenes and I'm working on this real tear-jerk scene where she rips off her shirt because she's upset. Wow? Wow! That will get us the "R", otherwise it might as well go straight to Nickelodeon. Randy Quaid is perfect for "Detroit," the hapless bungling side-kick, always ready for action and screwing up at every turn. I've got his catch-phrase: "Not in Detroit they don't!" Right? At a snooty restaurant or the middle of a fire-fight he's there with the line.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if he's alive, but I got this thing about Sir John Gielgud as Gordon, the enigmatic master-mind. Is he the villain? Will he save the day?? Gotcha!
For the finale, after the big explosion/tidal wave scene, Mark, Lucy and "Detroit" are standing in the ruins of Detroit(!) each with a smoldering bazooka, and in walk Gabe and Alex and they're like "what's all the fuss, dudes?!" (Played by themselves--pretty sure they'll work for points.) And Alex has the tag line, "Oh, Dad.... once a cockney always a cockney!" Hearty laughs all around, bring up the music, roll credits! Ka-ching!!
I just have to blah-blah-blah some plot and dialogue and we're off to scout locations.
Check in with you later. Oh, start losing weight in case one of the principals backs out. Unlikely, but you know Bruce and commitments...
Steve