I read where Apple is hiring young writers to make Siri a "better conversationalist".
Well,unless they plan on exhuming Jean Paul Sartre himself for the job,they won't be beating THIS conversation:
Mark: What time is "Dish Nation" on in West Palm Beach?
Siri: I can't help you with TV
Mark: Why not?
Siri: I don't know. I've often wondered that myself.
Mark: You're a useless bitch, you know
Siri: I'm only trying to help
Mark: But you didn't
Siri: I don't know the definition of the word "I". Shall I search the web for it?
Huh?
Guess I can see where this is going. Just as one can now (for .99) choose one's GPS directives from "Sexy Voice", "British Butler", or "Utter Fop"; Siri will now be overlaid with such options as "Henry David", "Jack" (Kerouach or Nicholson,you choose) or "50 Shades of Siri". Can't Wait!
So, obviously, we have some new toys at our disposal this trip. The personal hot spot is awesome. No more frequenting Ranger Stations or free Wi-Fi coffee joints. If only something blog worthy would occur.
I'm hesitant to dwell on the 80 degree temps, and our trips to the beach, considering what the majority of "you" (shall I search the web for it?) have recently endured temperature wise.
So, I'll just briefly run down the goings on:
Had a disappointing stay at the Kingsland Georgia Red Roof; not to fear, the Jacksonville option is a mere 40 minutes further down (and right off) 95.
Getting back into the Camping life:
Step 1 Push Button
Step 2 Rub hands together gently under warm air
Step 3 Wipe hands on pants *
Caught 5 fish so far, all different and all unidentifiable by me. The Asian gentleman fishing next to me called them all "Sardines", which only fooled me once.
Saw my brother David and wife Ann, had a nice dinner out, and set up our superbowl viewing...go 49ers!
Gordon's Prozac is working!
And finally, Dish Nation is on here at the ungodly hour of 11 pm.
*totally stole that one,sue me.
So, still in the giant Burmese Python headed south. It's a little tight in here but all-in-all not a bad ride--like a low-mileage '06 Audi. There is this constant swaying thing, part of the slither, I assume, that was tough to get used to. It's not bad, though. Mark tells me they're working like renaissance stone-masons on the plan for my rescue, something about going up to Destin to get "in the mood." I can see that. You have to be at your best for a full-on op, and driving three hundred miles in the other direction is a brilliant tactical diversion. In the mean-time, we're still in motion, so not at the mother-nest yet.
ReplyDeleteThere was some office furniture off to one side so I have a little area set up. Personal space is so important to one's sense of well-being, even when eaten by a snake. Speaking of which, I had a roomie for a while! My snake ate a tourist, this lady from Michigan or some place in the United States of Americanada. She had that "Oh, ya-a-a-a" accent like in the movie "Fargo." Right, like I could take that for more than six minutes. Apparently the snake felt the same way and she got barfed about a half hour ago. I kind of like the old place all to myself. Good news, though, she left her fanny pack--they issue them at the border, and no, I did NOT steal it--containing some coconut granola bars that I gave to the snake and a cell phone. Thank you, Cynthia! So Mark, when you and the Miami-Dade Swat Snake Team triangulate my exact locating for Rendezvous Alpha, use this new number. In the meantime, to keep the old noodle in working order, I'm doing this YouTube course called, "Engineering Marvels." My first assignment is to build a helicopter out of used books. I got the tail section done and the rotors are coming together. I better click over, there's a show on Hulu starting on de-slicing your golf swing. Could I ever use that!
See you at the triumphant rescue,
Capt. X
Boy just when you think technology has figured everything out. How about the Apple people hire Steve? That could really make things interesting!
ReplyDeleteYou guys had perfect timing for your escape south! No sooner were you gone than the frigid weather moved in.
Have fun at David's rooting for Frisco in the Super Bowl! It's a long story but I'm stuck with the Ravens in my annual Super Bowl bets with my friend Todd. I guess that means I have to root for Ray Lewis....ugh.